Becoming a mother of two is something I’d always dreamt about. I found myself often daydreaming about having our second child, but the daydreams were always filled with worry about how my pregnancy would be the second time around (read more about why here).
It was such a blessing when we found out we were having our second baby girl, it literally was my biggest dream come true! But all the way through my pregnancy I couldn’t help but keep thinking about how would I cope with having two children?
Now I know you may be reading this thinking why is she worrying, two isn’t too many? But for someone who didn’t take to motherhood straight away the first time around, or for someone who really struggled with the pressure of the responsibilities that come with being a parent, the thought of another little person to look after was a real worry for me.
But I decided to not let my worries consume me like I had previously done, and instead just enjoy every single part of my pregnancy, embrace this blessing of being a Mum of two and look forward to learning on the job! And that’s exactly what I’m doing, whilst loving every minute of it I’m also learning every minute too!
I often get messages on Instagram like “You’re doing such a good job”,” Wow, you’re nailing motherhood” which are always such a joy to read. Most days are amazing, some days are a little crazy but I wouldn’t say I’m “nailing it”. I’m just your everyday mum who loves a good routine, but who also doesn’t really have a clue what they are doing either!
I do however have some little methods that I believe make my days a lot easier and the girls days full of fun.
Before I dive right into them, I have to just say again that I am in no way a motherhood expert, I believe that each mother knows what works best for them and their children but equally I also believe that we’re all in this together. To share our tips, tell our inspiring tales of motherhood and to support one another on this incredible journey of ” Mum life”.
1. “Think toddler before the feed”.
Before I start preparing Morgan’s bottle I always ask Amelie if she needs anything. Normally I’ll go through the list, “would you like a snack?”,”Do you need a wee?”, “Shall we get your lego out?”, you get the gist! Then once she’s happy I know I can begin Morgans feed without having to stop every five minutes! Amelie gets her favourite things, food and playtime and Morgan get an uninterrupted bottle of milk! It works really well, apart from the one time I had to carry Morgan bottle still in mouth whilst opening the door to the postman. She was then sick on our doorstep whilst I signed for our parcel! He now leaves all parcels with our neighbour!
2. “Get your eldest involved”
Amelie really is my biggest little helper! She helps me get the changing mat ready, the nappies out and even helps me to shake Morgan’s milk. By getting her involved in all the tasks I have to do makes her feel included in every little thing.
When Morgan first arrived I was very aware of how Amelie was feeling. I didn’t want her to feel excluded in any way and so found that by giving her a very special role of her own let her know that she’s still are important, precious little girl.
3. “Get organised”
For me, getting out the door every day requires some serious organising, combined with military precision! Luckily I’m a very organised person by nature and thrive off things that are perfectly planned out.
If I know we have an early start the next day, I’ll get both the girl’s outfits ready the day before. I’ll prep Morgan’s powder pots, make our packed lunch and put absolutely everything I could possibly think we’d need in the changing bag. Doing all these things the night before gives me a good head start. I find I’m more level headed and excited about our day as my mind isn’t focused on all jobs I need to get done.
4. “Plan your days”
This is something I’ve always done with Amelie but have found it’s even more helpful with two children to entertain.
I have a list of all the playgroups and soft plays in our area, I then rotate which ones we visit on different days. We’re also very blessed to have such wonderful friends in our life and so I’ll always make sure we have a play date or two set up for the week.
I try to have our days planned out at least two weeks in advance, having previously suffered from very bad anxiety I literally detest last minute plans! I always say if it’s not got a pre-planned date in my diary, it’s not happening!
Knowing what we’re doing each day gives me that little sense of calm I crave in our beautifully busy days.
5. “Stick to your routine”
This is probably the most important tip I could share. Us humans LOVE a good routine! Instil structure into your day if you can, and I promise you things will start to run like clockwork. Ok so we are looking after children here so I’m using the term “like clockwork” loosely, but seriously it will make the biggest difference to your day.
Now I’m not suggesting you get yourself a whistle and become a twenty-first-century version of the Von Trap family, but I am suggesting that you find a schedule that works for you.
We have rough times in our day in which I aim to get things done. By 8 am we’re all eating breakfast, 9-10am is playtime, 10-11am we go up to get ready for our day. Whilst we’re upstairs I make the most of Amelie’s reading corner and we have our morning reading time. Morgan is usually napping by this point so I get to spend a little bit of time with just Amelie. I let her chose her book, or puzzle to do together, but some days she will just want to play. Her favourite game at the moment is make-believe birthday parties! It’s so much fun, I love living in her imagination with her. 12 pm it’s lunch time, then we head out for the day!
Luckily the girls seem to love our routine just as much as I do, it makes our beautiful chaos so much less hectic.
6. “Don’t worry about the noise”
In Morgan’s very early days I found myself panicking that Amelie laughing, singing or playing loudly would wake Morgan. We’ve never had a baby that napped before and so I was so caught up in giving Morgan the most peaceful naps possible.
One morning after a very sleepless night for us all, I asked Amelie to not sing so loudly as Morgan was asleep. As soon as the words left my mouth I immediately felt guilty, but when she said “I can’t do anything right” before bursting into tears I knew I had to change my mindset. At that point, I honestly felt like the worst mum alive. I hugged her so tight, then got all her toys out and played all her favourite games with her without worrying about a sound.
We sang and danced, I didn’t let any anxiety enter my mind and do you know what?! Morgan didn’t even murmur, she was sound asleep the whole time!
I figured that if she needed to sleep she would sleep no matter what. Amelie needs to be her beautifully creative self and I needed to just let myself relax.
7. “Make your communication clear”
Before Morgan was here Amelie was the only “Darling”, “Baby” or “Bub” in the house (apart from Scott of course! 😉). So it’s no wonder that if I’d say “are you ok darling” when addressing Morgan, I’ll get a reply from Amelie.
Most of the time I’d just go along with it as I didn’t want her to feel embarrassed. One time I did say “Oh I was talking to Morgan sweetie” to which her face dropped. She then started asking me “Who are you talking to Mum” which I found hilarious and made me see that if it isn’t obvious I need to be clear.
They both have their own gorgeous identities and I need to keep it that way.
I think that communication is key in any relationship, especially when trying to communicate to children. We’re yet to have any more mix-ups!
8. “Embrace those tougher days”
Every day I strive to be as positive as possible. I don’t believe in “tough” days, however, I know that some days will be tougher than others.
I used to get so stressed when things didn’t go to plan. But now when Amelie is crying because she’s overtired, Morgan is crying for her bottle and we haven’t left the house all day, I just embrace it. I remind myself that I God has given me these beautiful souls, nobody else, but me. He has faith that I have the strength I need to be the best mother possible I for our girls.
The tougher days are the days where I see the best version of myself, the one who knows that absolutely nothing is perfect, but absolutely everything in our life is God-given and truly wonderful.
9. ” Keep calm and carry on”
Quite literally! Believe it or not our little bundles of joy feed off our every move, if we’re calm they will be too.
I always think to myself there’s no more unknown once you’ve had your first child. Yes, each child is different, but you do have a much better idea of what lies ahead with your next one.
I found that I had so much more confidence in myself and my ability to adapt to motherhood the second time around. It made me so calm in myself, I honestly believe it’s one of the reasons why Morgan is such a calm, happy baby.
10. “Another day parented is another day of success!”
At the end of the day give yourself a pat on the back! Now I don’t mean this in a condescending kind of way but in an extremely sincere, we all need to give ourselves so much more credit kind of way! I feel that it’s just expected for us women to know what we’re meant to be doing and just get on with it like it’s our duty. Don’t get me wrong it is our duty, but I feel it’s also our duty to take pride in what we achieve each day!
Dealing with a screaming Threenager mid-tantrum is no mean feat! I feel It’s so important for our Husbands, partners, family members and of course ourselves to recognise the incredible job we’re doing in raising the future.
Whether you have one, two, five or even ten children there will always be a transition period. You will see a change in yourself and the life you once knew, but if you can be your own life’s biggest fan and be thankful for everything you have the transition will be your best story to tell yet!